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I come from a village called Rayne next to a town called Braintree, near 
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the city of Colchester in middle of the Essex County.  

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A semi detached house with three cars on the drive. Mum used to work at a 
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swimming pool and dad on a building site.

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My brother used to sell a little bit of hash but never enough to get caught; 
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he used to rag it around the town at night in a mark two ford escort.

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Six years of Notley high school got me four GCSEs its not the greatest 
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education but its good enough for me.
                                
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And on sunny Sunday afternoons we go down to southend, peter pans 
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playground it was called back then.

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We d all walk down the sea front to the pier for fish and chips. I used to 
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hang around in arcades playing Mortal Kombat. 

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So ill sing a song for Southend on radio 2, I think they want me to make fun 
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of it but I can only tell the truth.

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so if youve never been to Essex dont be so quick to knock it because the 
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reality TV show dont know everything about it.

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Well weve all heard jokes about Essex girls and how people think they are 
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Easy, loud mouth blonde and stupid and baby in the belly.

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Back in Braintree college I was in love with a girl called Claire smart 
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little vegetarian as pretty as the flower in her hair.

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on sunny Sunday afternoons we go down to south end, we bunk the train to 
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the sea side to hang out with our friends.

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The rollercoasters tiny its not like Alton towers but with the right ones 
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sitting next to you, you go round and round for hours.

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So ill sing a song for Southend on radio 2, I think they want me to make fun 
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of it but I can only tell the truth.

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so if youve never been to Essex dont be so quick to knock it because the 
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reality TV show dont know everything about it.
 
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And in my line of work I visit lots of different places. I iron out the 
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clichés and try and understand the creases.

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its good to have some character it makes you who you are and Id rather be 
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form Essex than be from Buckinghamshire